"DISAVOWING"

[drlynch]

I am taken with the idea explored elsewhere on this page as to how we “go in and out of consciousness” [ see for example under “movies ‘Munich’ “].

To review: We work on a model that says that as we are “Thinking – Feeling –Doing- In-The-World” we can reduce our generic ways of “being” into different “selves”; we have a self that “solves problems’, a self that “withdraws”, a self that “blames themselves”, a self that avoids and a self that “blames others”. These later four “selves” are more or less semi conscious states in which we are not fully conscious of what we are feeling or doing.

I posit these ideas as an introduction to a place where I would like to invite the posting of what people might identify as painful, outrageous, unjust ect. stories, incidents, vignettes. Why? For me, to continually remind ourselves that the illogical is always right in front of us.

Why is it? The explanation seems to be again, is that we are all always going in and out of consciousness in very large ways individually and en masse? Why? I world suggest because it is because we otherwise not be able to tolerate our existence. We could not tolerate all the pain in the world. As even Aristotle said so long ago, “To perceive is to suffer.”

These would seem to be all in all a fairly simple thought. In general, as Tomkins, and indeed any man on the street will generally tell you, all we really, really want is to be happy. In fact it seems it is hard to get anyone at all to read any of this or certainly to participate as what? Well, it seem like, at least at first, it doesn’t have much to do with being happy.

To withdraw, to blame self, to avoid or attack are all, in the end, ways to “avoid” and to try and a shortcut to be “happy”. To “think about it tomorrow” and of course this usually does not work.

But what about those starving around the world or the environmental problems or my neighbors problems? Where does it end or begin?

One of the many wonderful things I learned studying these ideas and from the book “Shame and Pride” was an appreciation of the word “disavow”.

So to disavow is a way to “avoid”, it is one of the many layers we have to protect ourselves from negative “affect” or feeling.

Nathanson, also tells us of an empathetic wall. This is am imaginary emotional “skin”, if you will, that protects us from letting in all the emotional information that is presented to us.

That is if we walked down the street and absorbed all the information on peoples faces we would be overwhelmed. As it is we automatically filter out all but what we can handle.

So absurd and extreme examples of injustice, cruelty and absurdity: On any given day they are in the paper or on TV or we hear them in our life. How indeed to we bear all of it?


So please post your own:

A few:

On the ABC show 20/20 they did a special on who “privilege” got one ahead. This concept alone is worth writing about in terms of avoidance but one example was the following story:

In brief: In Waco Texas the son of the head of the First Baptist Church was convicted of murdering a male prostitute. He evidently had invited him to his home and had an altercation over a 30 dollar fee and claimed self defense. The problem was the man was shot in the back. The father was and is extremely revered in Waco, thus the “privilege” angle. Man was convicted by a jury but got 10 years probation. Yes, ten year probation for murder.

Now switch to the other side of the tracks to another Baptist Church this one a store front where a young man attends. He foolishly, one night, commits armed robbery. Yes, a felony but kills no one. He holds up a man and gets all of two dollars and gives the man back his wallet. Within two hours he is arrested and the man has his two dollars back. I forget if he does any jail time at that time but he is nevertheless on parole.

So both men are on parole. Both men break parole. Both break parole for drugs. The privileged white man for cocaine use, the black man for smoking a joint.

The both go before the same judge, the same judge they had gone before, before. I forget what happened exactly to the white man but essentially nothing as later ABC found him at home after his parole was over. That is he is a free man.

What happened to the Blackman who smoked a joint? He was simply told to spend the rest of his life in prison. He has exhausted all appeals. Maybe someday there will be a Texas Governor that will somehow rectify this situation but what are the chances of that?

So one example of millions.


Another from the government.

A mother and son receive disability. Several years ago the grandmother of the son dies and leaves an insurance policy of x thousands of dollars of which all is spent to bury her.

Now several years’ later social security is counting the money as income against both the daughter and the grandson and deducting from bother their monthly 500-dollar checks.

How is it that as taxpayers we have a tax system that has the concept of “deductions” and here we go about seemingly looking for ways to punish people.

Of course, how where they suppose to bury her and how can the grandson be held responsible?

We hear but don’t hear?